Yvonne,请你不要再去想他在干嘛了？
他的事已经与你无关。
既然她已经有他自己幸福的生活了，就不要再打扰他了。
不要再当人家所谓的“第三者”了，不要再犯同样的错了。
虽然他一直都和你说他和爱你，想你，那些甜言蜜语，现在都已经不再重要了。
她已经和他前女友在一起了。
你已经很棒了，你已经做了你想对他的好，但你已经彻底输了。
你不要怪你自己，只要你不能比他们的感情来得久。
他们四年耶，而你呢？只有一个月，你能比什么？
什么都比不到。你懂吗？
对他来说，你对他的关心，只是一种约束。
而他对你的关心，他觉得是一种习惯。
你一定要振作，一定要。
你的泪已经留了三个月，还不够吗？
他这里说爱你，而却和他前女友在一起回了，你就像人家口中说的傻瓜，第三者吗？
也许这些话我一直都要提醒自己。
如果你真的爱我，就不会背着我和别的女生单独出去。
一直和前女友纠缠不清。
如果是我呢？ 你应该知道你会说什么？
你不喜欢我做的东西，和男生出去，我都可以避免，宁愿选择一个人，就是不想让你不开心，而你呢？
我一直都在听你的话，那是为什么？ 那是因为我很在乎你和我们之间的感情。
到今天，我终于知道了答案，那就是你真的不爱我了，因为你已经和她在一起了。
我终于也知道当我们再次一起时，为什么你不想让任何人知道我们的感情，是因为你已经和她在一起了，是吗？
我到底算什么，算什么？ 为什么你就一直当我是傻瓜？为什么？ 请告诉我为什么你要这样对我？
为什么你不爱我了，不要坦白告诉我？为什么一直和我说你还爱我？为什么你还叫我亲爱的？
为什么我一直选择相信你，你却给我这样的回报？
尽管我听到了什么，我还是问你，你说没有就没有。
为什么你要骗我？为什么？
你一直告诉我，你只当他是朋友，顺路载他做工，没你载，他就无法工作赚钱。
那好，我也慢慢接受。
为什么晚餐宵夜，即使是的休息日陪你的人是他而不是我？ 这是普通朋友吗？
而宁愿丢下我一人。
你要知道，他从来都没放弃过你，你觉得我要怎样放心?
如果只是普通朋友，为什么不管你去哪，在做什么你都叫他陪你？
为什么？
但我现在也知道了。
我现在也知道，他到处和人家说你是她的男朋友，你却一声都不出。因为那真的是事实。
而我却相信你。
原来我一直都被蒙在鼓里，一直都被人家取笑。
你说我一点点就生气，如果我是你，你是我的话，你能保证你不会像我一样吗？
但你也没有机会去体验到，因为当我爱这一个人的时候，我的全部都已经给了他，绝对不会让他伤心难过。
对不起，我真的接受不到。
我竟然被蒙了三个月。
我现在真的很痛苦，痛到我真的无法呼吸。
为什么？为什么？有谁可以和我说为什么他要这样对我？你可以告诉我吗？
没有人可以帮到我。
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊。。。。。。。
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The feelings......
Is friday again.
Time really passed very fast.
Tonight you will be back to work, i dont know what feeling should i have.
Happy? Cause finally I can see you, almose one week we didnt meet and really miss you so much.
Scare and hurts? Cause I dont know is it you still will fetch her? Scare the feeling comes again, its really suffer and pain.
Even though I keep telling myself that control and dont care,just pretend nothing but I really cant, cause I will jealous and care everything bout you and me.
But do you?
No one can help me, only myself.
How can I stop thinking of everything about you?
Even these few days when busy working, you still keep appear in my mind.
I really hate the nights coming, no matter how tired am I, but I cant get into dreams.
Every night just can cry n think till tired only can sleep.
I really dont know how much tears I can drop still, how long time I need only can sleep well.
Arghhhh...
Good night ba..
Hope I can control myself tonight, no matter in what situation and how suffer am I.
I have to add oil.
Good night to you and myself.
Sweet dreams.
Love and miss you always.
Time really passed very fast.
Tonight you will be back to work, i dont know what feeling should i have.
Happy? Cause finally I can see you, almose one week we didnt meet and really miss you so much.
Scare and hurts? Cause I dont know is it you still will fetch her? Scare the feeling comes again, its really suffer and pain.
Even though I keep telling myself that control and dont care,just pretend nothing but I really cant, cause I will jealous and care everything bout you and me.
But do you?
No one can help me, only myself.
How can I stop thinking of everything about you?
Even these few days when busy working, you still keep appear in my mind.
I really hate the nights coming, no matter how tired am I, but I cant get into dreams.
Every night just can cry n think till tired only can sleep.
I really dont know how much tears I can drop still, how long time I need only can sleep well.
Arghhhh...
Good night ba..
Hope I can control myself tonight, no matter in what situation and how suffer am I.
I have to add oil.
Good night to you and myself.
Sweet dreams.
Love and miss you always.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
sorry for everything
其实这一切都是我的报应吗？
拆散人家的感情，所以我一样得到同样的待遇吗？
是不是我能给的最后的疼爱是手放开？
可是我真的做不到。
即使你怎样对待我，我还是不能。
神啊，我真的无法不求你，因为没人可以救到我了。
就把我的幸福让给他，我什么都可以不要，就只要他幸福快乐就好。
也许我这三个月给的却比不上她这四年里所给你的，我并不能怪任何人，只能怪我自己。
怪自己为何没早点认识你，只怪我做得不够好，即使你现在已和她在一起，我真的不能怪谁，但我只想要你幸福。
也许我给的幸福并不适合你，也许你已经习惯和她一起的生活。
但我只希望你能幸福快乐，也希望你能告诉我，如果你已选择和她一起。
至少我有一个答案。
也许只有我选择放手，才不会阻碍到你的幸福，对吗？
我不应该那么固执吗？
真的对不起，对不起一直伤害你，对不起我的任性。
也许你真的没看见我对你的好，但我宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真，因为我还在期待会有奇迹发生。
但其实我真的太天真，真的相信这世界真的会有奇迹。
真的谢谢你曾经让我爱过你，曾经陪我走过我的人生的一段路，曾经给我幸福，曾经给我机会为你付出，曾经一直包容我。
也许我真的再没机会得到这一切，这些只能存在在我的梦里，在回忆里吗？
我真的很不舍得，非常非常不舍得。
即使我在打这些字，我的眼泪不断的流，一直在想我真的舍得吗？
但至少我在你的记忆里都是微笑的。
请原谅我的自私与任性。
对不起，真的对不起。
不是不爱弥，只是伤不起。
这些没你的日子，真的很痛苦，这些痛苦并不是我能承受。
但我宁愿我一个人去承受这些痛苦，也不要让你陪我一起承受。
如果上天能再次给我选择，我真想再次重新认识你，忘记一切不愉快的回忆，然后再次爱上你，然后再次紧紧地抱着你，牵着你的手，亲吻你，呵护你，一直为你准备爱心便当，一直到老。
但这全都不是我要就可以得到。
亲爱的，我不想再逼你做任何决定。
你想做什么就什么，只要你开心幸福就好。
但请你记得，我不在你身边碎碎念，你一定要记得我曾经说过的话，不要一直吃快餐，煎炒的食物，要喝多点水。
如果你选择和她一起，就请你忘记我，给她幸福，我会一直在身后祝福你。
亲爱的，一定要好好照顾自己，谢谢你。
一直爱着你，想念你。
但我还是会期待奇迹会出现。
对不起，我爱你。
拆散人家的感情，所以我一样得到同样的待遇吗？
是不是我能给的最后的疼爱是手放开？
可是我真的做不到。
即使你怎样对待我，我还是不能。
神啊，我真的无法不求你，因为没人可以救到我了。
就把我的幸福让给他，我什么都可以不要，就只要他幸福快乐就好。
也许我这三个月给的却比不上她这四年里所给你的，我并不能怪任何人，只能怪我自己。
怪自己为何没早点认识你，只怪我做得不够好，即使你现在已和她在一起，我真的不能怪谁，但我只想要你幸福。
也许我给的幸福并不适合你，也许你已经习惯和她一起的生活。
但我只希望你能幸福快乐，也希望你能告诉我，如果你已选择和她一起。
至少我有一个答案。
也许只有我选择放手，才不会阻碍到你的幸福，对吗？
我不应该那么固执吗？
真的对不起，对不起一直伤害你，对不起我的任性。
也许你真的没看见我对你的好，但我宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真，因为我还在期待会有奇迹发生。
但其实我真的太天真，真的相信这世界真的会有奇迹。
真的谢谢你曾经让我爱过你，曾经陪我走过我的人生的一段路，曾经给我幸福，曾经给我机会为你付出，曾经一直包容我。
也许我真的再没机会得到这一切，这些只能存在在我的梦里，在回忆里吗？
我真的很不舍得，非常非常不舍得。
即使我在打这些字，我的眼泪不断的流，一直在想我真的舍得吗？
但至少我在你的记忆里都是微笑的。
请原谅我的自私与任性。
对不起，真的对不起。
不是不爱弥，只是伤不起。
这些没你的日子，真的很痛苦，这些痛苦并不是我能承受。
但我宁愿我一个人去承受这些痛苦，也不要让你陪我一起承受。
如果上天能再次给我选择，我真想再次重新认识你，忘记一切不愉快的回忆，然后再次爱上你，然后再次紧紧地抱着你，牵着你的手，亲吻你，呵护你，一直为你准备爱心便当，一直到老。
但这全都不是我要就可以得到。
亲爱的，我不想再逼你做任何决定。
你想做什么就什么，只要你开心幸福就好。
但请你记得，我不在你身边碎碎念，你一定要记得我曾经说过的话，不要一直吃快餐，煎炒的食物，要喝多点水。
如果你选择和她一起，就请你忘记我，给她幸福，我会一直在身后祝福你。
亲爱的，一定要好好照顾自己，谢谢你。
一直爱着你，想念你。
但我还是会期待奇迹会出现。
对不起，我爱你。
Friday, June 29, 2012
The 22nd day without MY MAN
Today is the 22nd day without my man.
After finished work, I went to have dinner with him at esplanade.
All the way from house to esplanade food court till we went back home, we kept talking and laughing.
I really very happy, I hope we can be like this everyday
Just now he really very fed up, I really scare to see him like this.
But do he know why I keep asking the same question everyday?
I really scare he will forget about me, really scare he will stay far away from me.
I'm believe on him, cause he told me that she n him are just a normal friends.
But she is the one I don't believe on.
She everyday also has new pattern to him, always said no people fetch him back, need him to fetch or other reason.
I'm really feel tired to ask him the same question too and argue with him everyday.
But why he can't try to avoid and reject all those things.
Sometimes feel not to tell him what I'm thinking, but I want to let him know, but he also won't understand.
Can anyone tell me what can I do?
What can I do only can get back him, together with him and back to our happy life?
What can I do only can stop he and she so close?
What can I do only let him don't forget about me?
A lot of what can I do.
I everyday keep waiting for him to ask me for supper or dinner.
But every time also is me to ask first.
And 80% is rejected by him.
I really don't know why, I can't even get an good answer
Why he don't think to date me? Is it he don't miss me? Is it he don't want to out with me?
A lot of question marks in my heart.
I really do miss him so much and love him.
Do him get me?
Hmmm... is late night d.
Hope he can sleep well and recover soon.
Good night.
Miss him n love him always.
Yvonne
29.6.12 (Day 22)
3.40am
After finished work, I went to have dinner with him at esplanade.
All the way from house to esplanade food court till we went back home, we kept talking and laughing.
I really very happy, I hope we can be like this everyday
Just now he really very fed up, I really scare to see him like this.
But do he know why I keep asking the same question everyday?
I really scare he will forget about me, really scare he will stay far away from me.
I'm believe on him, cause he told me that she n him are just a normal friends.
But she is the one I don't believe on.
She everyday also has new pattern to him, always said no people fetch him back, need him to fetch or other reason.
I'm really feel tired to ask him the same question too and argue with him everyday.
But why he can't try to avoid and reject all those things.
Sometimes feel not to tell him what I'm thinking, but I want to let him know, but he also won't understand.
Can anyone tell me what can I do?
What can I do only can get back him, together with him and back to our happy life?
What can I do only can stop he and she so close?
What can I do only let him don't forget about me?
A lot of what can I do.
I everyday keep waiting for him to ask me for supper or dinner.
But every time also is me to ask first.
And 80% is rejected by him.
I really don't know why, I can't even get an good answer
Why he don't think to date me? Is it he don't miss me? Is it he don't want to out with me?
A lot of question marks in my heart.
I really do miss him so much and love him.
Do him get me?
Hmmm... is late night d.
Hope he can sleep well and recover soon.
Good night.
Miss him n love him always.
Yvonne
29.6.12 (Day 22)
3.40am
Thursday, June 14, 2012
The 5th day without My Man
Again woke up early in the morning.
I was so tired but I can't get into sleep.
Why? Everyday woke up with tears.
But no one knows it.
People always said that once you wake up in the next day, it will be a good beginning.
But I don't think so. It's just a lie.
I want to listen to him to call me 'Bii Bii', but I have no chance anymore.
I miss the way he calling me, the way he kiss me, the way he hug me, the way he care me.
I miss everything that between I and him.
Now I only can listen back to the talkbox conversation between me and him.
It has our sweetest memories.
Lot of sweetest memories between us.
I gonna to find it back.
Lot of plans that we planned together haven't complete it together, I gonna let it be done.
But all those memories and plans, only left me alone to complete it.
Bii, although you can't forgive me and be with me, but I also don't want you because of me and be with someone that you already no feeling.
I don't want to be like this, I will be more suffer.
Do you know it?
I want both of us are happy, not because of want me happy and want me to forget you, and you went to be with someone that you don't like anymore.
But do you think before what's my feeling?
It's really is a hard feeling, it was torturing me.
Today I went to hospital.
My best friends, gastric came and visit me again.
Doctor wanted me to stay for a night, but I don't want.
I know that even though I'm in hosp, you also won't come and see me.
I don't want to have a fake hope, although I keep praying and hoping that you will come and see me.
Mum, I'm so sorry.
My mind was just thinking of him, I can't stop it.
I really need him seriously, mum.
Who can teach me what to do.
Is no one, really no one.
Night i also choose to be alone and went to Starbucks to have a drinks.
Starred on the road n thinking of him.
These few days I really feel so tired, only slept for few hours and late back to home.
Sometimes feel like I gonna faint.
But I have to stand still, cause i have to fight for him.
Is late night again.
Chatting with him with talkbox now.
Hope everything is going well soon.
God, just need your help.
Don't seperate both of us.
Thanks god.
Yvonne
Love you and miss you lot.
Gud Night
12.6.2012 (Day 5)
11.59pm
I was so tired but I can't get into sleep.
Why? Everyday woke up with tears.
But no one knows it.
People always said that once you wake up in the next day, it will be a good beginning.
But I don't think so. It's just a lie.
I want to listen to him to call me 'Bii Bii', but I have no chance anymore.
I miss the way he calling me, the way he kiss me, the way he hug me, the way he care me.
I miss everything that between I and him.
Now I only can listen back to the talkbox conversation between me and him.
It has our sweetest memories.
Lot of sweetest memories between us.
I gonna to find it back.
Lot of plans that we planned together haven't complete it together, I gonna let it be done.
But all those memories and plans, only left me alone to complete it.
Bii, although you can't forgive me and be with me, but I also don't want you because of me and be with someone that you already no feeling.
I don't want to be like this, I will be more suffer.
Do you know it?
I want both of us are happy, not because of want me happy and want me to forget you, and you went to be with someone that you don't like anymore.
But do you think before what's my feeling?
It's really is a hard feeling, it was torturing me.
Today I went to hospital.
My best friends, gastric came and visit me again.
Doctor wanted me to stay for a night, but I don't want.
I know that even though I'm in hosp, you also won't come and see me.
I don't want to have a fake hope, although I keep praying and hoping that you will come and see me.
Mum, I'm so sorry.
My mind was just thinking of him, I can't stop it.
I really need him seriously, mum.
Who can teach me what to do.
Is no one, really no one.
Night i also choose to be alone and went to Starbucks to have a drinks.
Starred on the road n thinking of him.
These few days I really feel so tired, only slept for few hours and late back to home.
Sometimes feel like I gonna faint.
But I have to stand still, cause i have to fight for him.
Is late night again.
Chatting with him with talkbox now.
Hope everything is going well soon.
God, just need your help.
Don't seperate both of us.
Thanks god.
Yvonne
Love you and miss you lot.
Gud Night
12.6.2012 (Day 5)
11.59pm
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The 4th day without My Man.
Finally I'm bek after six months.
Blogger really is my besties tat i can talk with.
Only blog can le me express all my real feeling.
No one can teach me how to do and what to do.
And no one can know and guess what's his thinking.
Only God knows everything.
God, can I have a talk with you?
I just need a moment.
Today is the 4th day without him in my life.
I feel so suffer and pain.
I lost myself. I lost everything. I lost my motivation.
I failed everything in these few days.
Without him, I don't know that what can I do right now.
I'm trying to rescue and replace the pain I gave to him.
But it seems not really work.
I not gonna to lose him.
God, tell me that this is just a test for us.
Please.. I do really love him and miss him so much.
I really put much effort on this relationship and serious with it.
I really hate myself now.
These few days I kept having gastric, can't get into sleep and no appetite to eat.
I only had 3 meals in four days.
What happen to me?
I'm not gonna let my friends(ting, annie wei and ivee), my mum and him worry bout me.
But I'm trying to eat and sleep, but not working at all.
Mum, I'm so sorry for these few days that I kept shouting at you.
But I not really meant it.
I just feel I don't want talk and don't want stay at home and let you worry about me.
Sorry for these few days you worried about me that I have no enough sleep and didn't eat.
I know you worry about me, I really know it.
Even you are having sickness, you also not care and worry me.
Mum, I really feel sorry to you.
Mum, you kept asking me that why I didn't cry that serious when broke up with my two ex.
I really don't know how I gonna answer you.
Mum, this time is my fault, I hurted him.
I hurted someone I love, someone I care, someone very important in my life.
But I broke his heart and also myself.
My heart very painful. The pain gonna kill me up.
I can't tell you all these things, I only can write it here.
Mum, please forgive me. I hope you can understand me in one day.
Ivee, ting and annie wei,
I really thanks to you guys in these few days,
I know all of you are really care about me, you guys really love me, and worry about me.
I really sorry, I really can't stop thinking about him, even a second or even I'm sleeping.
It really is a nightmare for me.
Even you guys have your own things to think and worry, but you guys still will stay beside me.
Sometimes I really feel so shy to you guys, kept disturbing you guys, so i only decide to come out alone.
No need worry about me, I used to be alone.
Bii,
I'm really really feel sorry to you.
But I know now, how many times I said sorry to you is useless.
I not really meant to lie you and hurt you.
Hurting you is equal to hurting myself.
I really hate myself, why I just think of myself on that day.
Why I just care my own feeling?
I spoilt our relationship by my own.
Its feel like killing me and you.
No one I can blame, I only can blame on myself.
I m really feel regret.
I really did our promises since we together,
Just on that day I very fed up.
Bii, I really sorry.
I don't hope you forgive me now.
I just need you to give me a chance to let me prove it.
Just a last chance for me.
I'm not gonna to lose you.
Even though we had been together for 28 days only, but I feel that its like few months already.
I really appreaciate the time we had been together.
I not gonna to let our relationship ended like this.
Bii, I 'm really sorry to let you worry about me.
But I can't control myself, I can't even accept this is a truth.
I hope everything happened now, all is just a dream.
I just only can lying to myself.
Bii, I really need you to stay beside me.
I want to take care of you.
I want you to be the guy that most happiness in this world.
I want to be your perfect gf, cause you are perfect to me.
I want to cook every meal for you daily, let you have a warm feeling when you're working or after working.
I want to help you massage when you feel tired.
I just want to give you all the best to you.
I just want to back to the past.
But I know you can't let it be.
Yesterday was our one month anniversary.
Our plan was spoilt by me.
Is me, really is me............................................................................................................
Bii, sorry.
I broke your heart.
I lost everything.
Please forgive me.
Yvonne
Miss and love you much.
11.6.12 (Day 4)
7.50pm
Blogger really is my besties tat i can talk with.
Only blog can le me express all my real feeling.
No one can teach me how to do and what to do.
And no one can know and guess what's his thinking.
Only God knows everything.
God, can I have a talk with you?
I just need a moment.
Today is the 4th day without him in my life.
I feel so suffer and pain.
I lost myself. I lost everything. I lost my motivation.
I failed everything in these few days.
Without him, I don't know that what can I do right now.
I'm trying to rescue and replace the pain I gave to him.
But it seems not really work.
I not gonna to lose him.
God, tell me that this is just a test for us.
Please.. I do really love him and miss him so much.
I really put much effort on this relationship and serious with it.
I really hate myself now.
These few days I kept having gastric, can't get into sleep and no appetite to eat.
I only had 3 meals in four days.
What happen to me?
I'm not gonna let my friends(ting, annie wei and ivee), my mum and him worry bout me.
But I'm trying to eat and sleep, but not working at all.
Mum, I'm so sorry for these few days that I kept shouting at you.
But I not really meant it.
I just feel I don't want talk and don't want stay at home and let you worry about me.
Sorry for these few days you worried about me that I have no enough sleep and didn't eat.
I know you worry about me, I really know it.
Even you are having sickness, you also not care and worry me.
Mum, I really feel sorry to you.
Mum, you kept asking me that why I didn't cry that serious when broke up with my two ex.
I really don't know how I gonna answer you.
Mum, this time is my fault, I hurted him.
I hurted someone I love, someone I care, someone very important in my life.
But I broke his heart and also myself.
My heart very painful. The pain gonna kill me up.
I can't tell you all these things, I only can write it here.
Mum, please forgive me. I hope you can understand me in one day.
Ivee, ting and annie wei,
I really thanks to you guys in these few days,
I know all of you are really care about me, you guys really love me, and worry about me.
I really sorry, I really can't stop thinking about him, even a second or even I'm sleeping.
It really is a nightmare for me.
Even you guys have your own things to think and worry, but you guys still will stay beside me.
Sometimes I really feel so shy to you guys, kept disturbing you guys, so i only decide to come out alone.
No need worry about me, I used to be alone.
Bii,
I'm really really feel sorry to you.
But I know now, how many times I said sorry to you is useless.
I not really meant to lie you and hurt you.
Hurting you is equal to hurting myself.
I really hate myself, why I just think of myself on that day.
Why I just care my own feeling?
I spoilt our relationship by my own.
Its feel like killing me and you.
No one I can blame, I only can blame on myself.
I m really feel regret.
I really did our promises since we together,
Just on that day I very fed up.
Bii, I really sorry.
I don't hope you forgive me now.
I just need you to give me a chance to let me prove it.
Just a last chance for me.
I'm not gonna to lose you.
Even though we had been together for 28 days only, but I feel that its like few months already.
I really appreaciate the time we had been together.
I not gonna to let our relationship ended like this.
Bii, I 'm really sorry to let you worry about me.
But I can't control myself, I can't even accept this is a truth.
I hope everything happened now, all is just a dream.
I just only can lying to myself.
Bii, I really need you to stay beside me.
I want to take care of you.
I want you to be the guy that most happiness in this world.
I want to be your perfect gf, cause you are perfect to me.
I want to cook every meal for you daily, let you have a warm feeling when you're working or after working.
I want to help you massage when you feel tired.
I just want to give you all the best to you.
I just want to back to the past.
But I know you can't let it be.
Yesterday was our one month anniversary.
Our plan was spoilt by me.
Is me, really is me............................................................................................................
Bii, sorry.
I broke your heart.
I lost everything.
Please forgive me.
Yvonne
Miss and love you much.
11.6.12 (Day 4)
7.50pm
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