Today is the 22nd day without my man.
After finished work, I went to have dinner with him at esplanade.
All the way from house to esplanade food court till we went back home, we kept talking and laughing.
I really very happy, I hope we can be like this everyday
Just now he really very fed up, I really scare to see him like this.
But do he know why I keep asking the same question everyday?
I really scare he will forget about me, really scare he will stay far away from me.
I'm believe on him, cause he told me that she n him are just a normal friends.
But she is the one I don't believe on.
She everyday also has new pattern to him, always said no people fetch him back, need him to fetch or other reason.
I'm really feel tired to ask him the same question too and argue with him everyday.
But why he can't try to avoid and reject all those things.
Sometimes feel not to tell him what I'm thinking, but I want to let him know, but he also won't understand.
Can anyone tell me what can I do?
What can I do only can get back him, together with him and back to our happy life?
What can I do only can stop he and she so close?
What can I do only let him don't forget about me?
A lot of what can I do.
I everyday keep waiting for him to ask me for supper or dinner.
But every time also is me to ask first.
And 80% is rejected by him.
I really don't know why, I can't even get an good answer
Why he don't think to date me? Is it he don't miss me? Is it he don't want to out with me?
A lot of question marks in my heart.
I really do miss him so much and love him.
Do him get me?
Hmmm... is late night d.
Hope he can sleep well and recover soon.
Good night.
Miss him n love him always.
Yvonne
29.6.12 (Day 22)
3.40am
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
The 5th day without My Man
Again woke up early in the morning.
I was so tired but I can't get into sleep.
Why? Everyday woke up with tears.
But no one knows it.
People always said that once you wake up in the next day, it will be a good beginning.
But I don't think so. It's just a lie.
I want to listen to him to call me 'Bii Bii', but I have no chance anymore.
I miss the way he calling me, the way he kiss me, the way he hug me, the way he care me.
I miss everything that between I and him.
Now I only can listen back to the talkbox conversation between me and him.
It has our sweetest memories.
Lot of sweetest memories between us.
I gonna to find it back.
Lot of plans that we planned together haven't complete it together, I gonna let it be done.
But all those memories and plans, only left me alone to complete it.
Bii, although you can't forgive me and be with me, but I also don't want you because of me and be with someone that you already no feeling.
I don't want to be like this, I will be more suffer.
Do you know it?
I want both of us are happy, not because of want me happy and want me to forget you, and you went to be with someone that you don't like anymore.
But do you think before what's my feeling?
It's really is a hard feeling, it was torturing me.
Today I went to hospital.
My best friends, gastric came and visit me again.
Doctor wanted me to stay for a night, but I don't want.
I know that even though I'm in hosp, you also won't come and see me.
I don't want to have a fake hope, although I keep praying and hoping that you will come and see me.
Mum, I'm so sorry.
My mind was just thinking of him, I can't stop it.
I really need him seriously, mum.
Who can teach me what to do.
Is no one, really no one.
Night i also choose to be alone and went to Starbucks to have a drinks.
Starred on the road n thinking of him.
These few days I really feel so tired, only slept for few hours and late back to home.
Sometimes feel like I gonna faint.
But I have to stand still, cause i have to fight for him.
Is late night again.
Chatting with him with talkbox now.
Hope everything is going well soon.
God, just need your help.
Don't seperate both of us.
Thanks god.
Yvonne
Love you and miss you lot.
Gud Night
12.6.2012 (Day 5)
11.59pm
I was so tired but I can't get into sleep.
Why? Everyday woke up with tears.
But no one knows it.
People always said that once you wake up in the next day, it will be a good beginning.
But I don't think so. It's just a lie.
I want to listen to him to call me 'Bii Bii', but I have no chance anymore.
I miss the way he calling me, the way he kiss me, the way he hug me, the way he care me.
I miss everything that between I and him.
Now I only can listen back to the talkbox conversation between me and him.
It has our sweetest memories.
Lot of sweetest memories between us.
I gonna to find it back.
Lot of plans that we planned together haven't complete it together, I gonna let it be done.
But all those memories and plans, only left me alone to complete it.
Bii, although you can't forgive me and be with me, but I also don't want you because of me and be with someone that you already no feeling.
I don't want to be like this, I will be more suffer.
Do you know it?
I want both of us are happy, not because of want me happy and want me to forget you, and you went to be with someone that you don't like anymore.
But do you think before what's my feeling?
It's really is a hard feeling, it was torturing me.
Today I went to hospital.
My best friends, gastric came and visit me again.
Doctor wanted me to stay for a night, but I don't want.
I know that even though I'm in hosp, you also won't come and see me.
I don't want to have a fake hope, although I keep praying and hoping that you will come and see me.
Mum, I'm so sorry.
My mind was just thinking of him, I can't stop it.
I really need him seriously, mum.
Who can teach me what to do.
Is no one, really no one.
Night i also choose to be alone and went to Starbucks to have a drinks.
Starred on the road n thinking of him.
These few days I really feel so tired, only slept for few hours and late back to home.
Sometimes feel like I gonna faint.
But I have to stand still, cause i have to fight for him.
Is late night again.
Chatting with him with talkbox now.
Hope everything is going well soon.
God, just need your help.
Don't seperate both of us.
Thanks god.
Yvonne
Love you and miss you lot.
Gud Night
12.6.2012 (Day 5)
11.59pm
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The 4th day without My Man.
Finally I'm bek after six months.
Blogger really is my besties tat i can talk with.
Only blog can le me express all my real feeling.
No one can teach me how to do and what to do.
And no one can know and guess what's his thinking.
Only God knows everything.
God, can I have a talk with you?
I just need a moment.
Today is the 4th day without him in my life.
I feel so suffer and pain.
I lost myself. I lost everything. I lost my motivation.
I failed everything in these few days.
Without him, I don't know that what can I do right now.
I'm trying to rescue and replace the pain I gave to him.
But it seems not really work.
I not gonna to lose him.
God, tell me that this is just a test for us.
Please.. I do really love him and miss him so much.
I really put much effort on this relationship and serious with it.
I really hate myself now.
These few days I kept having gastric, can't get into sleep and no appetite to eat.
I only had 3 meals in four days.
What happen to me?
I'm not gonna let my friends(ting, annie wei and ivee), my mum and him worry bout me.
But I'm trying to eat and sleep, but not working at all.
Mum, I'm so sorry for these few days that I kept shouting at you.
But I not really meant it.
I just feel I don't want talk and don't want stay at home and let you worry about me.
Sorry for these few days you worried about me that I have no enough sleep and didn't eat.
I know you worry about me, I really know it.
Even you are having sickness, you also not care and worry me.
Mum, I really feel sorry to you.
Mum, you kept asking me that why I didn't cry that serious when broke up with my two ex.
I really don't know how I gonna answer you.
Mum, this time is my fault, I hurted him.
I hurted someone I love, someone I care, someone very important in my life.
But I broke his heart and also myself.
My heart very painful. The pain gonna kill me up.
I can't tell you all these things, I only can write it here.
Mum, please forgive me. I hope you can understand me in one day.
Ivee, ting and annie wei,
I really thanks to you guys in these few days,
I know all of you are really care about me, you guys really love me, and worry about me.
I really sorry, I really can't stop thinking about him, even a second or even I'm sleeping.
It really is a nightmare for me.
Even you guys have your own things to think and worry, but you guys still will stay beside me.
Sometimes I really feel so shy to you guys, kept disturbing you guys, so i only decide to come out alone.
No need worry about me, I used to be alone.
Bii,
I'm really really feel sorry to you.
But I know now, how many times I said sorry to you is useless.
I not really meant to lie you and hurt you.
Hurting you is equal to hurting myself.
I really hate myself, why I just think of myself on that day.
Why I just care my own feeling?
I spoilt our relationship by my own.
Its feel like killing me and you.
No one I can blame, I only can blame on myself.
I m really feel regret.
I really did our promises since we together,
Just on that day I very fed up.
Bii, I really sorry.
I don't hope you forgive me now.
I just need you to give me a chance to let me prove it.
Just a last chance for me.
I'm not gonna to lose you.
Even though we had been together for 28 days only, but I feel that its like few months already.
I really appreaciate the time we had been together.
I not gonna to let our relationship ended like this.
Bii, I 'm really sorry to let you worry about me.
But I can't control myself, I can't even accept this is a truth.
I hope everything happened now, all is just a dream.
I just only can lying to myself.
Bii, I really need you to stay beside me.
I want to take care of you.
I want you to be the guy that most happiness in this world.
I want to be your perfect gf, cause you are perfect to me.
I want to cook every meal for you daily, let you have a warm feeling when you're working or after working.
I want to help you massage when you feel tired.
I just want to give you all the best to you.
I just want to back to the past.
But I know you can't let it be.
Yesterday was our one month anniversary.
Our plan was spoilt by me.
Is me, really is me............................................................................................................
Bii, sorry.
I broke your heart.
I lost everything.
Please forgive me.
Yvonne
Miss and love you much.
11.6.12 (Day 4)
7.50pm
Blogger really is my besties tat i can talk with.
Only blog can le me express all my real feeling.
No one can teach me how to do and what to do.
And no one can know and guess what's his thinking.
Only God knows everything.
God, can I have a talk with you?
I just need a moment.
Today is the 4th day without him in my life.
I feel so suffer and pain.
I lost myself. I lost everything. I lost my motivation.
I failed everything in these few days.
Without him, I don't know that what can I do right now.
I'm trying to rescue and replace the pain I gave to him.
But it seems not really work.
I not gonna to lose him.
God, tell me that this is just a test for us.
Please.. I do really love him and miss him so much.
I really put much effort on this relationship and serious with it.
I really hate myself now.
These few days I kept having gastric, can't get into sleep and no appetite to eat.
I only had 3 meals in four days.
What happen to me?
I'm not gonna let my friends(ting, annie wei and ivee), my mum and him worry bout me.
But I'm trying to eat and sleep, but not working at all.
Mum, I'm so sorry for these few days that I kept shouting at you.
But I not really meant it.
I just feel I don't want talk and don't want stay at home and let you worry about me.
Sorry for these few days you worried about me that I have no enough sleep and didn't eat.
I know you worry about me, I really know it.
Even you are having sickness, you also not care and worry me.
Mum, I really feel sorry to you.
Mum, you kept asking me that why I didn't cry that serious when broke up with my two ex.
I really don't know how I gonna answer you.
Mum, this time is my fault, I hurted him.
I hurted someone I love, someone I care, someone very important in my life.
But I broke his heart and also myself.
My heart very painful. The pain gonna kill me up.
I can't tell you all these things, I only can write it here.
Mum, please forgive me. I hope you can understand me in one day.
Ivee, ting and annie wei,
I really thanks to you guys in these few days,
I know all of you are really care about me, you guys really love me, and worry about me.
I really sorry, I really can't stop thinking about him, even a second or even I'm sleeping.
It really is a nightmare for me.
Even you guys have your own things to think and worry, but you guys still will stay beside me.
Sometimes I really feel so shy to you guys, kept disturbing you guys, so i only decide to come out alone.
No need worry about me, I used to be alone.
Bii,
I'm really really feel sorry to you.
But I know now, how many times I said sorry to you is useless.
I not really meant to lie you and hurt you.
Hurting you is equal to hurting myself.
I really hate myself, why I just think of myself on that day.
Why I just care my own feeling?
I spoilt our relationship by my own.
Its feel like killing me and you.
No one I can blame, I only can blame on myself.
I m really feel regret.
I really did our promises since we together,
Just on that day I very fed up.
Bii, I really sorry.
I don't hope you forgive me now.
I just need you to give me a chance to let me prove it.
Just a last chance for me.
I'm not gonna to lose you.
Even though we had been together for 28 days only, but I feel that its like few months already.
I really appreaciate the time we had been together.
I not gonna to let our relationship ended like this.
Bii, I 'm really sorry to let you worry about me.
But I can't control myself, I can't even accept this is a truth.
I hope everything happened now, all is just a dream.
I just only can lying to myself.
Bii, I really need you to stay beside me.
I want to take care of you.
I want you to be the guy that most happiness in this world.
I want to be your perfect gf, cause you are perfect to me.
I want to cook every meal for you daily, let you have a warm feeling when you're working or after working.
I want to help you massage when you feel tired.
I just want to give you all the best to you.
I just want to back to the past.
But I know you can't let it be.
Yesterday was our one month anniversary.
Our plan was spoilt by me.
Is me, really is me............................................................................................................
Bii, sorry.
I broke your heart.
I lost everything.
Please forgive me.
Yvonne
Miss and love you much.
11.6.12 (Day 4)
7.50pm
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